August 04, 2012

Love-Ranged Marriage!


Marriage sealed with a kiss? Is that it?
Image Courtesy: ebay
Love, love and more love…Oh I hate hearing that word. Why? It’s because it broke my heart more than once. Now you might be wondering what kind of affair I had got myself into. Hehe! Keep dreaming! I’m not going to spill the beans here. Loving a person of your opposite sex is a human right, and should be supported at all levels. But however, love gets serious with the arrival of marriage. The proposals are often arranged by both families or rather affirmed secretly with the help of a registrar and some witnesses. But what is it that differentiates love marriages from those that are arranged?

In the beginning...
According to the Biblical context, man was created in this world by God. And when God saw that man felt lonely, He decided to gift him with a woman, who was literally formed from the ribs of the man. However true it may be, the case has changed over the millennia of evolution. Time has taught man to choose his partner, and the same has it done to women! However, now a genuine confusion was born. How to select? It’s not a product that’s for sale in the market is it? I’d sound like a perfectly inexperienced young adult; however, from some real life instances that I’ve personally seen, I’d say that human beings are blind when it comes to love. But I’m not totally against love either. We’ll get to that part eventually. But, my question is, when did love actually grow within a human being? Was there love in the beginning? What is love? Some say God is Love. Is it true? I’d say that to love someone truly you’d have to first love yourself and consider that person to be one with yourself. If that person feels hurt, then you should also feel hurt, and so should all the other emotions coexist mutually! 

Wedding Rings symbolize the Marital Status
Image Courtesy: PRLOG

Vows and Knots...
Marriage is believed to be divine. That’s why most people do it (or have it) as part of a religious sermon. The man is partnered with his wife in front of God and the people. During the ceremony, the priest or authorized elder chants the holy words which mean that they (the bride and groom) have now become one. This means they would share their entire life together as one, by loving and caring for each other. People these days however do not have the courtesy to even think before they get married. Why?

Some people like to take life lightly. They want to enjoy while they can and only start to understand the consequences after a situation arises. The situation may be a small issue to an outsider, but from within the amount of tension felt by the person is known only by him or her or someone else who has been in the same shoes. Quick heals and ‘painless’ divorces are a common uprising in this era. People have the money to do anything, so they do whatever they like, without thinking about morality. And very often some innocent person falls as the victim in almost all these situations!

Marriage is a Promise for a lifetime!
Image Courtesy:

An elaborate justification would prove that both men and women are equally volatile to unforeseen realities. “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” is a well known book by Dr. John Gray, which has proven to help many a lives to understand the true meaning that differentiates men from women. The universal bond that seems to attract a man to a woman is somehow differed from the past and will soon vary with the future generations. The hi-tech savvy environment and the unlimited extend to which pleasure pays a poor prize in each of our lives makes it evident that the odds are not in our favor - unless we decide to change! As human beings, a trust build up is very essential in every relationship, be it prior or post marriage. But can we trust all the lies too? Think about it! 

The Proposal...

My missed call
Your number...
My heart
Your inbox...
Your fingers
My face!
One sorry
Your grace...
My laptop
Your smile...
Your diary
My life...
One coffee
One date
Two rings
One wait...!
Our story
Their craze...
Are you ready?
I'll wait...
Poem by: ©Anoop M. Mathew
How to love...?
Now let’s get back to the actual topic. How do you love a person? Do you look at the size of the pocket, or is it the size of the heart that you want or rather, is it the size of something else? Lost? Don’t be! Most people go with the ‘something else’ part. No big deal actually! But you have to learn to coexist inspite of however different you are from your partner. There is boldness is marrying a one legged man if his heart is set to pound for you; neither is it cowardly to marry a woman you love even if she has a few disabilities. Well, I think most people out there are far better lovers than what I’ve mentioned here. Forgive my ignorance on the details!
Is there Love after Marriage?
Image Courtesy: Boundless
Arranged marriage is truly a risk these days, in particular when you do not know your partner personally. Most men are jerks, and most women are not perfect either - so there’s a balance as most people think! But a lot of arranged marriages are truly long lasting than love marriages. Now why is that? Is it because you’ve completed the ‘love your partner as you love yourself’ part before the love marriage itself? Maybe! But as a third person, I’ve seen that arranged marriages have a far lasting potential as the experienced ‘matures’ of both households have decided on the matter and both the ‘children’ are then given in to marriage. In love marriages however, there’s a part where the families don’t agree in the beginning but due to circumstances they are forced to risk all odds in the end!

In my personal opinion, whether you had an arranged marriage or love marriage doesn’t matter as long as love still exists as the theme. A willingness to forgive and accept your partner, as he or she is, would help to keep the marriage successful. However, there are a few people who do not value the sacredness of marriage and try out extra marital affairs; to them, I’d say - don’t let your partner know!!! To the others - keep up the good work!

Cupid awaits his next victim!
Image Courtesy: Jewlicious
P.S.: This Article was written based on personal views for Love Marriage ya Arranged Marriage contest conducted by Sony Entertainment Television and Indiblogger. To take part in this contest, click here.
If you like this post, please vote for it here (link yet to be published)

Sony's new show "Love Marriage Ya Arranged Marriage"


Jaison Aurora said...


Anonymous said...

Since you have written this with great thought and worded the concept delicately, the question rises, would marriage be the same for you if you loved someone and decided that arranged marriage be the better alternative since you're parents supposedly found "the one" for you,.. Once again, you've put you're heart into your work.. it definitely speaks volumes about you :D...

Katherine Pierre

Anoop Mathai Mathew said...

Marriage for me is yet a far off ritual, which will takes some more years. Until then I'm free! Yet I strongly believe that I would love someone who is also acceptable to my parents, considering the fact that I've already faced certain consequences over the past few failures. :)

Confused Soul said...

I think that was a brilliantly thought out and well-written post.
Me likey. :)

You can read my post here-

All the best to you :D

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