Marriage sealed with a kiss? Is that it?
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Love, love and more love…Oh I hate hearing that word. Why? It’s because it broke my heart more than once. Now you might be wondering what kind of affair I had got myself into. Hehe! Keep dreaming! I’m not going to spill the beans here. Loving a person of your opposite sex is a human right, and should be supported at all levels. But however, love gets serious with the arrival of marriage. The proposals are often arranged by both families or rather affirmed secretly with the help of a registrar and some witnesses. But what is it that differentiates love marriages from those that are arranged?

In the beginning...

According to the Biblical context, man was created in this world by God. And when God saw that man felt lonely, He decided to gift him with a woman, who was literally formed from the ribs of the man. However true it may be, the case has changed over the millennia of evolution. Time has taught man to choose his partner, and the same has it done to women! However, now a genuine confusion was born. How to select? It’s not a product that’s for sale in the market is it? I’d sound like a perfectly inexperienced young adult; however, from some real life instances that I’ve personally seen, I’d say that human beings are blind when it comes to love. But I’m not totally against love either. We’ll get to that part eventually. But, my question is, when did love actually grow within a human being? Was there love in the beginning? What is love? Some say God is Love. Is it true? I’d say that to love someone truly you’d have to first love yourself and consider that person to be one with yourself. If that person feels hurt, then you should also feel hurt, and so should all the other emotions coexist mutually! 

Wedding Rings symbolize the Marital Status
Image Courtesy: PRLOG

Vows and Knots...

Marriage is believed to be divine. That’s why most people do it (or have it) as part of a religious sermon. The man is partnered with his wife in front of God and the people. During the ceremony, the priest or authorized elder chants the holy words which mean that they (the bride and groom) have now become one. This means they would share their entire life together as one, by loving and caring for each other. People these days however do not have the courtesy to even think before they get married. Why?

Some people like to take life lightly. They want to enjoy while they can and only start to understand the consequences after a situation arises. The situation may be a small issue to an outsider, but from within the amount of tension felt by the person is known only by him or her or someone else who has been in the same shoes. Quick heals and ‘painless’ divorces are a common uprising in this era. People have the money to do anything, so they do whatever they like, without thinking about morality. And very often some innocent person falls as the victim in almost all these situations!

Marriage is a Promise for a lifetime!
Image Courtesy: Photo.net

An elaborate justification would prove that both men and women are equally volatile to unforeseen realities. “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” is a well known book by Dr. John Gray, which has proven to help many a lives to understand the true meaning that differentiates men from women. The universal bond that seems to attract a man to a woman is somehow differed from the past and will soon vary with the future generations. The hi-tech savvy environment and the unlimited extend to which pleasure pays a poor prize in each of our lives makes it evident that the odds are not in our favor - unless we decide to change! As human beings, a trust build up is very essential in every relationship, be it prior or post marriage. But can we trust all the lies too? Think about it! 

The Proposal...

My missed call

Your number...

My heart

Your inbox...

Your fingers

My face!

One sorry

Your grace...

My laptop

Your smile...

Your diary

My life...

One coffee

One date

Two rings

One wait...!

Our story

Their craze...

Are you ready?

I'll wait...

Poem by: ©Anoop M. Mathew

How to love...?

Now let’s get back to the actual topic. How do you love a person? Do you look at the size of the pocket, or is it the size of the heart that you want or rather, is it the size of something else? Lost? Don’t be! Most people go with the ‘something else’ part. No big deal actually! But you have to learn to coexist inspite of however different you are from your partner. There is boldness is marrying a one legged man if his heart is set to pound for you; neither is it cowardly to marry a woman you love even if she has a few disabilities. Well, I think most people out there are far better lovers than what I’ve mentioned here. Forgive my ignorance on the details!

Is there Love after Marriage?
Image Courtesy: Boundless

Arranged marriage is truly a risk these days, in particular when you do not know your partner personally. Most men are jerks, and most women are not perfect either - so there’s a balance as most people think! But a lot of arranged marriages are truly long lasting than love marriages. Now why is that? Is it because you’ve completed the ‘love your partner as you love yourself’ part before the love marriage itself? Maybe! But as a third person, I’ve seen that arranged marriages have a far lasting potential as the experienced ‘matures’ of both households have decided on the matter and both the ‘children’ are then given in to marriage. In love marriages however, there’s a part where the families don’t agree in the beginning but due to circumstances they are forced to risk all odds in the end!

Conclusion...

In my personal opinion, whether you had an arranged marriage or love marriage doesn’t matter as long as love still exists as the theme. A willingness to forgive and accept your partner, as he or she is, would help to keep the marriage successful. However, there are a few people who do not value the sacredness of marriage and try out extra marital affairs; to them, I’d say - don’t let your partner know!!! To the others - keep up the good work!

Cupid awaits his next victim!
Image Courtesy: Jewlicious

P.S.: This Article was written based on personal views for Love Marriage ya Arranged Marriage contest conducted by Sony Entertainment Television and Indiblogger. To take part in this contest, click here.

If you like this post, please vote for it here (link yet to be published)

Sony's new show "Love Marriage Ya Arranged Marriage"

I’ve always thought that happiness is something that you cannot buy. And today I’m blessed as what I believed all these years has come through as though a realm of purgatory. I’m not sure if I’m man enough to say this, but yet it frequently haunts my mind not to. So I write this down as a reminder to my legacy.

Luxury may be termed as an act of uncertain comfort boosted with passion and powered by possession or merely proper cash. Unfortunately, luxury is often felt as an ideal state for the highest class of beings. But with my experience and seismic thought provoking ideology, I’d say not.

The term luxury can be referred to anything or any sort of lifestyle that invokes pleasure and calmness of mind. It is often an unavailable situation in our monotonous lives these days. Luxury however is just another cheap excuse to being happy. Why do I say so? Let’s find out…

Take the life of a simple peasant who works his days on his fields. What does he yield? Well, most of us might suggest ‘hard work can bring profits’…Well is that all? Look carefully and you’ll notice that the peasant is healthier than any other office going person. Is he not? Moreover, he likes his job, in spite of the hard work and risks involved. (I’m referring to a peasant according to the old concept. Modern peasants are faster and forward.)

Farming his lands, the peasant works for all year and it brings him great joy to see his produce at the harvest time. Unfortunately, sometimes things don’t go as the peasant expects and he feels a small financial crisis. Well, we all know that this is a common situation.

But what does the term luxury mean to an ordinary peasant? Well, from m y point of view, the harvest is the luxury and selling off the produce is the greatest happiness. A job well done deserves appreciation…Bravo! And hard work always pays.

But can you suggest what luxury means today? I’m at loss of words too. Despite of all that, I’ve come up with the word for modern luxury: “Aggressive” Why? Read on…

Luxury today is all about more and more and more and more and more and it goes on and on and on and on and…(I could go typing on and on and….). To tell about all the materialistic things that you’ve bought or the worldly pleasures you’ve achieved if ever happiness is involved is sheer luxury. The passion and the desire for more and the romance of ecstasy when you live a life of dreams in reality is also luxury.

But to me, luxury is instantaneously possible. How? Well as sensibly simple as that: Be happy with what you have. Not satisfied with what you have? Then try to be happy with what you do so that you live a luxuriously happy life.

To me, luxury is all about living in the moment and meek pleasure in small things. I like to feel happy and often find myself content with what I do as a matter of passion than with what I do out of pure need. I am also able to coordinate and be more alive while I’m myself, when I do what I like to, rather than when I try to be someone else when I try to do the extraordinary. There is a saying that you should never try to swallow more than you can so much chew. The same goes with happiness…

Take it slowly…

Breathe it normally…

Feel it purely, and

Live it daily…

For happiness is a boon in all its glory!

So be luxuriously happy always! Cheerio!

P.S.: The author was neither drunk nor drugged while writing this down. Audience should maintain discretion to all statements. However, valid criticism is tolerated. 

A day unusual, stormy and dark,

The sudden thunder, the occasional bark,

My words were silent, no single remark,

It was raining and pouring, like never before.

I saw her, standing by the road,

My heart went croaking like a toad,

My soul was wet, my spirits soared,

She looked so beautiful, like never before.

Warm was her glance, cold was the air,                            

There she stood n flirted with her hair,                    

And all I could do was stand and stare,                                    

She looked so amazing, like never before.                         

Suddenly she turned and walked towards me,                          

I already went weak down in my knee,                             

My heart was beating, fluttering and free,

I was addicted, like never before.

I stood up to her as she just brushed past,

What if she left, what if this was the last,

I had to act....as quick n fast,

I wanted her badly, like never before.

I stopped her walk, trembling with fear,

My eyes could see nothing, but I was in top gear,

Her face I saw then, so angelic n clear,

I melted in there, like never before.

I opened my umbrella, invited her in,

In the darkness all around, I could sense light within,

Would this be my first original sin,

A sinner I felt, like never before.

I held her hand, I looked her in the eye,

I could never leave her, never say goodbye,

It was time for me, to live or die,

I proposed to her, like never before.

She pulled back her hand and threw me on the floor,

She stomped away from there, it surely was a no,

Rejected and dejected, my heart felt the blow.

I cried out on the street, like never before

Abandoned by her, I felt half dead,

My spirits sunk just like my drooping head,

My eyes were weeping, they wept and bled,

I stood so hurt like never before.

My senses were numb,as I walked through the street,

I moved ahead, as I struggled with my feet,

A car threw me off, I could almost feel its heat,

I felt so dead, like never before.

I could see her now from the corner of my eye,

She rushed to me as I knew I was gonna die,

With a warm hug, I said her a final goodbye,

I knew I had loved her like never before.

By: Rakesh D'mello

© This content belongs to Rakesh D'mello and cannot be used in anyway without permission.

P.S.: Thank You Rakesh for your support. This is my 3rd Guest Appearance post on The Friend's Lobby.

Inside ME...
Image Courtesy: www.paintingsilove.com

I want to climb the Everest,

Just to show the world I can…

Run a 100 mile marathon,

Just to feel the thrill first hand…

I want to fight the black knights,

Just to show that I’m strong…

And taste liquid cyanide,

Just to prove that I’m The One…

I want to sleep naked,

Just to conquer my lusty guilt…

Jump over China’s Wall,

Just to expose my acrobat skills

I want to read a nursery rhyme,

Just to feel the good old times…

Listen to Metallica,

Just to lose my mind at will…

I want to forget the past,

Just to pave the future’s path…

And face every big challenge,

Just to show that I’m humane…

By: Anoop Mathai Mathew

Written On: 08-03-2011