Regret in me is active today. This feeling keeps building from the scratch. There was a time in my past when the whole concept of forgiveness was at bliss. My ignorance had eaten my conscious. I was laid back due to forces of natural instincts that pulled me towards the wrong deeds that I had once committed.
Yes, I've sinned! And greatly does that affect me today. The need to forgive myself for my deeds has dawned upon me like the symbols of a fairy tale. Why do I get back feelings from the past that haunt me even today? I don't know! For once, there's more pardon from another soul than you get from your own self!
Basically, self-pardon is just an excuse to feel better about yourself. I'm genuinely in need of a mentor, a guide and a good friend who can get me into the realm of life once again. Of course I have good friends, but my skeptical mind doesn't allow me to open up in front of anyone. I regret every moment of the past. Even though I try to forget the remorse, the pain inside keeps building up easily. Sooner or later, all that quarantined matter will have to be flushed down from the chapters of my life. I've a better destiny, a more promising future and many a things to uphold that I cannot loose time with mere ideologies of regret.
Well for the time being at least, I've decided to cherish my present and make use of it as if it were my last day on Earth. Who knows, I may die any minute from now, but will I be able to pardon myself and live a happy life? The best decision would be to try!